Epiphanies, continued:
Sep. 26th, 2008 08:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ferineWhen penning the entry "Therianthropy", I began it with passionate and righteous anger. My 11 years of fury over a white-washed past, as if all of on-line therianthropy was erased and rendered nonexistent by two ego-maniacal people and their accepted followers.
Then I realized: to those that came to non-line therianthropy after 1997, they had no idea about this. To them it was new, a clean-slate, if you will. It wasn't just for me to bear frustration toward them or the new over-defined version of therianthropy. A new "history" had been concocted, and there's no undoing it. What's done is done.
I was a fool to have wasted so much time and energy being upset over this hijacking and changing of the subculture. Granted, it was a subculture near and dear to my heart, that opened many avenues of self-expression, exploration, discussion, exchange of ideas, and opportunities for friendship. Many of those friendships survived to this day and crossed over from on-line beginnings to off-line interactions. Still, the on-line subculture is just that--digitalized. A mask too easy to hide behind, particularly for the socially inept in the off-line world.
I was a fool to waste time attempting to open the eyes of 'therian' folks, post-1997. This is the way is now. You can't go home again. It's analogous to my situation; I can't return to the vigor or abilities I've lost.
My desire for reaching out and helping new animal folk is a stubborn streak. In all these years, regardless of my anger at the petty bickering and often personal attacks that go on in the more prominent 'therian' circles (Werelist being the main culprit), I've never surrendered my efforts to contact and open a dialog with the animal-identified. No matter how many seem suspicious simply because I'm nice and to-the-point, I've not surrendered my hope or my effort.
And I'm grateful, as I've met many kind, intelligent, and fascinating animal people in this manner: one on one at first through e-mail and journal, sometimes graduating to the telephone, then in person.
For now it's time to return to basics, particularly given my vulnerable state.
I'm not giving up on those I've yet to meet. What I'm doing is slowing the pace of my often unbridled enthusiasm. Returning to my tried and true system of singling out an individual to exchange thoughts with.
Then I realized: to those that came to non-line therianthropy after 1997, they had no idea about this. To them it was new, a clean-slate, if you will. It wasn't just for me to bear frustration toward them or the new over-defined version of therianthropy. A new "history" had been concocted, and there's no undoing it. What's done is done.
I was a fool to have wasted so much time and energy being upset over this hijacking and changing of the subculture. Granted, it was a subculture near and dear to my heart, that opened many avenues of self-expression, exploration, discussion, exchange of ideas, and opportunities for friendship. Many of those friendships survived to this day and crossed over from on-line beginnings to off-line interactions. Still, the on-line subculture is just that--digitalized. A mask too easy to hide behind, particularly for the socially inept in the off-line world.
I was a fool to waste time attempting to open the eyes of 'therian' folks, post-1997. This is the way is now. You can't go home again. It's analogous to my situation; I can't return to the vigor or abilities I've lost.
My desire for reaching out and helping new animal folk is a stubborn streak. In all these years, regardless of my anger at the petty bickering and often personal attacks that go on in the more prominent 'therian' circles (Werelist being the main culprit), I've never surrendered my efforts to contact and open a dialog with the animal-identified. No matter how many seem suspicious simply because I'm nice and to-the-point, I've not surrendered my hope or my effort.
And I'm grateful, as I've met many kind, intelligent, and fascinating animal people in this manner: one on one at first through e-mail and journal, sometimes graduating to the telephone, then in person.
For now it's time to return to basics, particularly given my vulnerable state.
I'm not giving up on those I've yet to meet. What I'm doing is slowing the pace of my often unbridled enthusiasm. Returning to my tried and true system of singling out an individual to exchange thoughts with.